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Archive for the ‘Faith’ Category

Christian’s Birth Story

The summer went on and through the heat and humidity we waited for your arrival. I thought you might come at the end of July or at least one of the first days of August but you had other plans. We think we know what is best. I thought August 2nd sounded like a nice birthday but truly, God’s plans are greater than ours. You came at the perfect time and I couldn’t have planned a more wonderful and peaceful arrival for our little angel.

We spent day after day just waiting for you. We had cleared our calendar expecting your arrival. Every day, Nana came to the door, with her bags full, thinking you might come. I felt hot, huge and uncomfortable. With the heat, my feet were swollen and the most simple tasks became so burdensome. Finally, I realized that staying home was causing me to dwell on my discomfort and anxiety was creeping in. So Tuesday we got in the car with Daddy on his way to work, dropped him off and headed to Aunt Jeri’s house for a little while. Then we had lunch at Nana and Pop Pop’s. After lunch, Genevieve and I headed to Janet’s house to meet precious James, who was 3 weeks old, while Charlotte napped in the car with daddy. That evening, Grandma and Grandpa came over for a little while. What a full day it was! And that night we would finally get to meet our sweet Christian!

We went to sleep around 10 and at midnight I got up to go to the bathroom. The contractions started about 15 minutes later. I took a shower and then we called Dale, our midwife. The contractions were about 5 minutes apart by then. She told us to call her back in a half hour to an hour or when things got very intense. Daddy and I went back  into bed and listened to the Hypnobabies fear clearing session together. (Well, I thought we listened together, but Daddy later told me that he just went to sleep!) Things were definitely more intense in an hour. Contractions were about 3 minutes apart. We called Dale and she said she would come right over. Then we called Tita to let her know to come over with Nana.

Dale arrived around 2 o’clock, followed by Nana and Tita and then Julie, the other other midwife. By this time, Daddy had already set up the pool and filled it half way. I was sitting on the couch listening to my easy first stage track on the iPod. Sitting was the most comfortable position for me. Every time I would stand or walk, the contractions would get very intense and close together. I definitely did not like that!  That made each trip to the bathroom very difficult! When I sat and listened to the hypnobabies track I was able to relax through each contraction and although they were very strong, I was able to manage them.

Dale asked if I wanted her to check how far along I was. I was hesitant to do this because I didn’t want to be disappointed if I hadn’t progressed that much. However, I didn’t want to get into the birthing pool too early; so I decided to let her check me so that I could better judge when to get in the water. I was 7 centimeters along! It felt good that I was so far along and I decided to get in the pool.

The water felt so good when I got in and I remember thanking God that I was able to labor in the pool! Shortly after that, the contractions started to get really strong and no amount of water was going to make them any easier to get through! This time, I tried to let go and just listen to my body and do felt best. Daddy was an excellent partner. Throughout the labor, he was there supporting me, bringing me coconut water to drink and helping me to get though each contraction. I was truly so grateful for him. We had talked about what I would need most during labor and I could really tell that he had listened to everything I said. I couldn’t have asked for more. He was so responsive and sensitive to me. He is an amazing man.

When it was time to push, we put on the Hypnobabies pushing track but I quickly realized that I didn’t want it. It was so peaceful in the room and we truly didn’t need it on. I asked Daddy to put on some worship music instead. Dale was wonderful in providing gentle encouragement to me all along the way. She has the most calming presence and helped us all to be at ease. She helped me to let go and ride the wave of each contraction, allowing my body to do what I believe women were created to do.

Pushing was difficult. I felt focused and wanted each contraction to come quickly. I was ready for you to be in my arms! I leaned back, Dale’s arm was supporting my shoulders and Daddy was behind me too. It was the hardest work I’ve ever done! I remember feeling this huge sense of determination as I worked to breathe you out. And then you were on my chest. The most beautiful and perfect little angel. Your cry was strong and I was immediately in love with you. My first words to you over and over were I love you, I love you.

Your birth was so many things. It was gentle and intense and and difficult and powerful and peaceful, all at once. I was able to see how strong I really am. It reminded me of how much I love your Daddy and how blessed I am to have him as my husband. It demonstrated to me how sovereign God truly is and how He really does make all things work together for our good.

Christian, you are our beautiful gift from God. I treasure you and I am so grateful that God would bless me, an imperfect sinner with such a precious little life to share. Thank you for the privilege of being your mother. I pray for God’s grace and mercy as we embark upon this journey life together.

Christian Alexander Coco

August 8, 2012

9 pounds 5 ounces

20 1/2 inches

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I want to write down some of the things Genevieve says about God so that I will remember them and she can one day look back at them. This morning we were talking about God, using the book Big Truths for Little Kids and I asked Genevieve “can you see God?”

She answered, “Sometimes I can see God. When I look at the clouds I see His hand waving at me. So I wave back. Sometimes I dream about Him.”

I asked, “what does He look like in your dreams?”

“He looks like He is so nice.”

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Your Thoughts

How precious to me are your thoughts, God!
Psalm 139:17

Why spend time reading the Word and praying?

Because His thoughts are precious to us.

Because we long to know those thoughts more intimately.

Oh Lord, that I would view Your thoughts as a prized treasure. That nothing would stand in the way of me devoting myself to knowing You. And as I drink in those thoughts daily, let my own thoughts be transformed to reflect Yours.

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Who Am I?

Who am I, that you should look into my face, with those dark grey eyes, and smile that big smile?

Who am I, that you should lay your head upon my chest and peacefully drift off into a deep slumber?

Who am I, that you should trust me to meet your every need, to nourish your body with my own, to quiet your tears, to calm your fears?

You lay your innocence upon me, but I am guilty of so much. How can I be enough for you? How can I be trusted with this precious gift when I have failed so many times before?

Oh Lord, grace. I need your grace. Make me who I need to be. Fill me so I will be enough.

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Love is PATIENT

Love is patient… 1 Cor 13:4

Love is patient and suffers long. It endures without complaining. It tolerates calmly.

What does this mean to our relationship with our spouse?

It means that as we love our spouse, we allow them to be who they are. We don’t complain about them and we don’t put a time limit on them. We pour our love out upon them simply because they are ours.

My beloved is mine and I am his… Song of Solomon 2:16

We don’t love them despite their shortcomings, we love them because of them.

We stand with them no matter what.

When we feel that they they are the most unlovable, we lavish them with the most love and affection.

We set aside our expectations and choose to love no matter what.

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A Baby Has Lived!

I have this feeling inside my chest that just won’t seem to go away. I never understood heartbreak before, but now I feel as if my heart has been torn apart. And now as I go about my day, there is this ever present pain in the center of my being. Even when I am happy and laughing, I feel it there.

This week we lost a baby. A baby we had yet to see or hold, but was ours nonetheless. I still can’t seem to wrap my mind around the fact that there was a life that was growing inside me that is there no more. But my heart understands it and my heart feels the pain of this loss. I hadn’t seen a sonogram or heard the heartbeat. Although I cannot fully grasp what has happened, deep within me I am mourning the loss of our child.

Yet I know my baby lives. He is wrapped in peace and glory. He is held in the arms of my Savior, the One who formed him in my womb, who knit him together. One day we will all be together.

Until that day I will find rest in the comfort of the Almighty One. For I know it was He who numbered this baby’s days. And though they were few, they were meaningful and they will not be forgotten.

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Every evening Genevieve and I follow the same routine to get her ready for bed. First Genevieve goes on the potty and then gets in her pajamas. We brush her teeth. (She scrunches up her face and pretends that she is not going to let me brush them!) Then we go and snuggle together on the couch in her room. We read the bible together and pray. Then we read The Going to Bed Book. Genevieve loves this book, especially the lion. We always roar to each other when we see him on the first page. Genevieve nurses and then lies down in her crib to sleep.

Lately I have been trying to take the Bible story that we read and pray about it over Genevieve. I bless Genevieve with the positive traits or qualities that are demonstrated in each story. I realize how powerful the spoken word is and I just want to pour blessings into Genevieve’s life.

This evening we read about Jesus calling his disciples. He said, “Come follow me and I will make you fishers of men.” I began to pray that Genevieve would hear Jesus calling her to follow Him and that she would respond to that call. I prayed that she would realize what an awesome calling it is to follow Jesus and that she would allow her life to be used to bring others to the Light. What an important prayer it was and as I prayed I realized that my voice and my countenance were changing. I was praying a little more passionately tonight that I usually do in our bedtime prayers. Oh how I long for Genevieve to know Christ in an intimate way and for her life to bring glory to Him.

All of a sudden I looked up at Genevieve, who was sitting quite still next to me. (If you know Genevieve, you know that is out of the ordinary for her!) Her little hands were clasped together and eyes were tightly closed. Her tiny face was scrunched up.

It seemed as though she understood the significance of that prayer.

All of a sudden Jesus’ words came to mind. He said to his followers “This, then, is how you should pray: ‘Our father…'”

THIS is how you should pray. Jesus demonstrated to his disciples time and time again the way to pray. He taught them through example.

This evening God showed me that I am to teach Genevieve through my example how to speak to Him. It is from me that she will not only learn WHAT to pray, but she will learn HOW to pray.

Genevieve imitated what she witnessed tonight. They were not shallow, empty words that were spoken. These words came from a place deep within me that longs to see the salvation of my child. Genevieve could sense the fervency of this prayer and this was reflected in her reaction. She was directed to God. We were in the presence of the King of Kings and I truly believe that Genevieve knew it.

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